Problems, Progress, and Parents
by Spookyrus
Summary: They've vanquished evils. They've conquered demons. They've spread the magic of friendship across Equestria and beyond. Now, Princess Twilight Sparkle and her Friendship council must face their greatest challenge yet; normal life. Can Twilight survive it? She might need some help from the other side of the mirror... [Originally from FiMFiction in August 2016. Cover by Novel Idea.]
1. 1A Everything Starts Somewhere

|| Heyo! My name's mpuppy4, you may shorten to that however you will. Welcome to a story that I wasn't planning to upload anywhere other than FiMFiction but decided to anyway because of the attention it was receiving. There's currently seven chapters and I haven't updated the darn thing since August, so I'm planning on getting back to it soon. It's a pretty shameless ship-vent-fic, but a lot of people seem to like it for some weird reason, so here it is on FanFiction! ||

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 **1A. Everything Starts Somewhere  
**

Ponyville was a nice little town. It was a nice little town full of nice little ponies who met on the streets and exchanged blissful greetings under the bright morning sun. Just like many days before this, Ponyville was having another perfectly perfect day, much to the content of one Princess of Friendship Twilight Sparkle the Alicorn, currently returning home from a summit in Griffinstone. After working for four days straight and hardly getting any sleep, there was nothing Twilight appreciated more than seeing her home exactly as she had left it.

The chariot that carried Twilight and her trusted assistant Spike the Dragon rounded overhead as the two pegasus guards guiding it descended towards the Ponyville Castle. Several ponies pointed upwards when they spotted the chariot, and upon hearing a couple of foals calling her name, Twilight leaned over the edge and waved to them. They looked excited by her response. It was good to be home.

When the chariot came to a full stop on the ground, Twilight and Spike exited the vehicle. The princess thanked her Magic Guards for their service and dismissed them. With a salute, the pegasi trotted away.

"Good morning, Princess Twilight," greeted one of two earth pony guards in front of the castle gates.

Twilight smiled warmly in return. "Good morning, Caramel. Nice weather we're having, don't you think?"

Caramel nodded. "Oh, yeah," he responded brightly, "it definitely makes our jobs easier."

"There have been no unusual sightings during your absence, Princess Twilight," said the guard on the other side of the gate. He was trying his hardest to look guard-like in spite of his non-threatening demeanor.

Twilight nodded with gratitude. "Thank you, Felix. That's good to hear." She stepped through the castle gates,which had been so generously opened for her, Spike at her heels. "You two have done excellent work. I'll have your next shift taken over so you can take a well-deserved break."

"Thank you, Princess Twilight." The guards closed the gates behind them.

Twilight liked to keep the less scary-looking guards at the gates of her castle, so not to scare off anypony seeking council with her. After all, she wanted to be there for her subjects, no matter what their dilemma may be, just like she always had been before her ascension. Felix and Caramel, she found, were good candidates for the gatekeeping job. They had grown up here in Ponyville and were familiar faces to most of those living here. Twilight was quite surprised when she first caught wind of Felix and Caramel signing up for military school. However, when she learned that they intended to become guards so to serve and protect the town they were born and raised in, Twilight welcomed them into the Magic Guard with open hooves. Felix and Caramel may not have been have been as strong, skilled, or scary-looking as some soldiers, but they most certainly got the job done.

That said, they didn't exactly have much of a job to _do._

Yes, Twilight reflected, it had been almost a year now since the last time a full-scale threat had been made on Equestria. There were no great magical threats or ancient evils to be conquered. These were times of peace and harmony. Twilight probably wouldn't be the first to admit that the year prior to and two years following her ascension had been... _eventful,_ to say the least. But now that was in the past, and Twilight was determined to see that Equestria moved forward.

"Ugh!" Twilight was awoken from her thoughts by a loud grumble from Spike. "What a week! My arm still hurts from all the letters I've been writing!" With a sigh, he curled his fingers together and stretched his arms out. "I can't wait to just take a nice, hot shower and relax."

"Well, you've certainly earned it, my Number One Assistant." Twilight patted her hoof on Spike's head a couple of times. "I don't know what I would have done with you by my side. You were a big help."

Spike grinned. "Aw jeez, Twilight, I'm just doing my job."

"And you do it better than anypony else ever could." Twilight wrapped her wings around Spike, much to the young dragon's indignance.

"Ew! Twilight!" He struggled out of the alicorn's grip, chuckling a little. "Don't do that!"

Twilight giggled. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. But hey, at least I didn't do it in public this time."

"Agh! Don't remind me of that!" Spike dusted off his shoulders and flashed his teeth humorously. "I'm gonna go take that shower."

"Don't be too long." Twilight watched with a tired smile as Spike padded off to the nearest bathroom. Not too long ago, he would have happily accepted a surprise hug... He was growing. Of course, Twilight knew this would happen. He couldn't stay a baby forever, and it's not like he hadn't gotten any bigger since he first hatched. Still, Twilight couldn't help but feel a little wistful. Before she knew it, little Spike would be even bigger than her. And then what? She would probably never be able to look at him the same way again. Literally. Because he would be taller than her.

But Twilight knew there was nothing she could do to prevent it. And even if she could, she wouldn't, because it wouldn't be right. As she plodded down the halls to the throne room, she shook herself. It was silly of her to be thinking of these things. Of course Spike was going to grow up! It would be ridiculous of her to think anything otherwise. Maybe it was just coming a little sooner than she would have liked it to...

"Good morning, Princess Twilight." The unicorn guard standing inside the throne room saluted pointedly.

"Good morning." Twilight waved lazy before approaching the table at the center of the room. She lifted herself into the chair that bore her Cutie Mark and slumped over, placing her chin on the map. Glancing around a little, she inquired, "Where's Starlight?"

"Your student is in her study, your majesty," the guard answered.

Starlight's study was on the top floor.

Twilight grumbled. She was too tired to lug herself up that many flights of stairs. Actually, she was too tired to do much of anything. Why had she come in here again?

She glanced down at her flank. There was her Cutie Mark. Sitting there. Not glowing. She looking up. There was the map. Sitting there. Not doing anything.

Then she yawned.

"Ugh. Okay." The guard watched Twilight slide out of the throne and onto the floor. Crawling out from under the map table, she said, "If Starlight happens across you before Spike talks to her, you can tell her that we've returned. I'm going to take... a..." Her sentence was interrupted by loud yawn. Smacking her lips, Twilight concluded, "...a really long nap."

"A... As you wish, Princess."

So Twilight trudged up to her room and took a really long nap.

* * *

Hours passed and Twilight slept soundly in her bedroom, the curtains closed so to block out incoming sunlight. This was a nap she seriously needed, all things considered, and she was subconsciously enjoying it. She probably would have slept for hours on end, were it not for one tiny, practically insignificant detail...

Someone was breathing on her.

Realizing this, Twilight slowly opened her eyes, dragging herself back to her senses. And once she had done so, she recoiled, letting out a yelp.

"Pinkie Pie?!"

"Heyo!" Pinkie squeaked, standing over Twilight with their muzzles practically pressed against each other.

Twilight shoved Pinkie off of her bed, and the earth pony landed on the floor with a *squeak*. "What are you doing in my room?!" Twilight demanded.

"Waiting for you to wake up, of course!" Pinkie hopped back up to her hooves. "I heard you were back and I just couldn't wait to see you!" She pulled Twilight into a hug. "I missed you _sooooo_ much!"

Twilight's brow furrowed. "Pinkie, I was gone for four days."

"And it felt like forever!"

 **"PINKIE PIE!"**

"Uh-oh." Pinkie pulled away from Twilight, turning her attention towards the doorway. The sound of heavy hoofsteps echoed from the hallway and into the room, and shortly after, Starlight Glimmer stormed inside, looking half-past furious. "Pinkie!" she shouted. "I told you not to come in here! Twilight was _trying_ to sleep!"

Pinkie grinned, unfazed by the unicorn's anger. "He he! Sorry Starlight, but I just couldn't wait! If I had gone any longer without seeing Twilight, I would have _exploded!"_ She stood on her back legs, motioning an explosion with her front.

Starlight's face scrunched tighter. "That doesn't mean you can barge in here and disturb the princess when you were _explicitly told not to!"_

Pinkie scratched her head. "Huh. Well, I guess you've got a point there."

Twilight watched as Starlight lifted Pinkie with her magic, and Pinkie said, "Ooh, Twilight! We need to have your 'Welcome Back From the Griffinstone Summit' party! I already have everything planned! What kind of cake do you want?"

Twilight sighed. "Pinkie, do you think that could wait until tomorrow?" she requested mildly. "I'm absolutely exhausted. If you threw the party today, I would probably just fall asleep in the punch bowl."

"Okie dokie lokie, tomorrow it is! But what kind of cake do you want?"

"Chocolate."

"Okay!"

Pinkie still in her grasp, Starlight threw apart the curtains, opened the window, and tossed Pinkie out of it. Twilight watched with clenched teeth as Pinkie fell.

"Weeeeeeeeeeee!" *squeak* "I'm okay!"

As Starlight closed the window back up, Twilight climbed out of bed and stretched her wings. "Well," she grumbled, "I guess I'm awake now."

"Sorry about that, Princess Twilight," Starlight apologized. "I tried to tell her that you were sleeping, but she just ran right past me, and-"

"Don't worry about it, Starlight." Twilight waved her hoof dismissively. "Pinkie is Pinkie, that'll never change." Her expression softened. "I'm more concerned about how you handled the situation. Don't you think you were overreacting just a little?"

Starlight's ears flattened and her eyes shifted to the side. "Well, she was being immature, and I didn't want to disturb you..."

Twilight set a hoof on Starlight's shoulder. "Well, maybe for your next friendship lesson, we can work on that temper of yours. How does that sound?"

Starlight snorted.

With a roll of her eyes, Twilight approached a dresser at her bedside. She pulled open a drawer with her magic and shuffled through the contents. There was a notebook in there somewhere that she wrote down ideas for friendship lessons...

"So... how did the summit go?" Starlight asked.

"Oh, it was great!" Twilight replied, continuing to shift through papers. "Griffinstone is really starting to get back on its hooves thanks to Rainbow and Pinkie." She picked up a book, felt a bit of sweat form over her brow as she examined it, and then gingerly set on top of her pillow. "I pitched a few ideas to them, and the griffins are actually considering rebuilding the kingdom on a democracy rather than a monarchy. Isn't that great?" After a couple of silent moments, Twilight lifted her head and looked backwards. Starlight looked confused.

"What's a... _'democracy'?"_

Twilight blinked. "Oh, right..." she muttered. "It's the system of government that they use in the human world. It's where the whole population or all the eligible members of a state have a say in monumental decisions."

"Oh."

Twilight chuckled. "I'll explain it better later." She closed the drawer. Wherever was that notepad? "Maybe if your lessons go well, I can bring you along the next time I have to go to Griffinstone."

Starlight perked. "Oh... I've never actually met a griffin before..." Her eyes lit up. "Going to their kingdom would be amazing! There's so much I could learn there!"

Twilight tapped her hoof against her chin a couple times. Actually, bringing Starlight to Griffinstone was one of her very first ideas for a friendship lesson, if she was remembering correctly. In that case, maybe she should dig up those old lists instead. She knew they never ended up getting to all of them, so maybe now would be a good time to look back over those old ideas.

"Starlight!" came a voice from the hall. "Are you in here?"

Starlight turned towards the doorway. "Yeah, Spike! What is it?"

Spike stuck his head around the corner and looked around the room. "Oh, Twilight, you're up." He stepped inside, a bath towel wrapped around his waist, and approached Starlight. "I was hoping to get your help with the dishes." Scowling, he continued, "I just looked in the kitchen and _apparently_ none of these guards have any manners. It's a disaster area in there."

Smiling weakly, Starlight replied, "Uh, sure, Spike. I'll help you out."

"Alright then." Twilight fluffed her wings and directed her attention towards another dresser on the other side of the room. Even if she were going to look at the old lists, she still wanted to find that notepad. "We can put that friendship lesson on hold for a little while. Maybe after the party tomorrow?"

Starlight nodded briskly. "Sounds like a plan, Princess."

"Cool!" Spike exclaimed. "Then let's get to those dishes!"

Spike and Starlight trotted out of the room, closing the door behind them. Twilight smiled to herself and sifted through the papers in the second dresser. Starlight was making progress, if slowly. Within a year or so, she would most likely move on from Twilight's tutelage to something fulfilling, just as Twilight herself had. She looked over a few loose papers. Hm... and then what? She set the papers down. What would she do after Starlight left? The way things were going now, training Starlight was really the only thing she had to do other than oversee the development in Griffinstone, and even then, the other princesses had almost as much involvement as she did. What _would_ she do after Starlight left? Would something else come up? Would she take on a new apprentice? But what if nothing happened at all...? What would she do after that? Would there be anything left for her...? Twilight was sweating pretty hard, her legs shaking. Spike had scolded her many a time for her going so deep into her thoughts that she broke down like this, but unfortunately for her, Spike wasn't here right now.

Thankfully, there was one thing to rescue her from this unfortunate situation, and it came in the form of a familiar sound coming from behind her. Twilight's ears immediately shot up and her head swung around. The book lying on her pillow was vibrating.

Not even bothering to close the dresser drawer, Twilight dove onto her bed and opened up to the newly written page. What a life saver! She probably would have lost it if she had stood there wallowing in her thoughts for any longer. What did the book have to say...?

 _ _Dear Princess Twilight,__

 _I figured you would be back from that summit by now, so I decided to contact you. How did the summit go? Anything interesting with the griffins? Anyway, there is a reason I wanted to write you as soon as possible. I figured out when the date is! It's June 12th. Do you think you can make it? It just wouldn't be the same without you there. Everyone is looking forward to seeing you again! Pinkie says she wants you to stick around for the after-party. Also Rarity says she's got a new dress made up for you and can't wait to see you wear it. Also Fluttershy says hi. It's okay if you can't make it, though. We know you're really busy, but if you can find the time, I'd love to have you here._

 _Sincerely, Sunset Shimmer_

Twilight brushed a hoof through her mane absently. Of course, she had nearly forgotten! Her friends over at CHS would be graduating soon.

Hurriedly pulling a quill and inkwell from her bedside, Twilight shifted the book so to write below Sunset's message.

 _ _Dear Sunset Shimmer,__

 _Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss it for all of Equestria! You can tell the others that I'm coming, Sunset. I know this is really important to all of you. Also, the griffins are considering rebuilding the kingdom on the foundation of democracy! Isn't that cool? I hope they decide to go through with it, it would probably be best for their nation. Anyway, I'll be there! And remember that you're always welcome here in Equestria. I'm looking forward to seeing you again!_

 _Sincerely, Twilight Sparkle_

Twilight closed the book and nodded to herself. Certainly the graduation only spelled more change, but at least now she had something to look forward to. Setting the book back down on her dresser, she closed the curtains again and pulled the sheets over herself. She was definitely looking forward to seeing Sunset Shimmer.

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|| Ugh, I hate reformatting stories for other sites. Tell me if you think I should un-center the book text.

It's late here, but I'll probably upload the second chapter tomorrow. Woop, see you then! ||


	2. 1B The WBFTGS Party

|| I always forget to do things. ||

* * *

 **1B. The "Welcome Back From the Griffinstone Summit" Party**

There was a loud *boom* and an explosion of confetti, effectively declaring the arrival of the guest of honor. Pinkie Pie blew a party horn in Twilight's face, exclaiming, "Welcome Back From the Griffinstone Summit, Twilight!" which just so happened to be the same sentence written on the banner that hung overhead.

Rarity watched Pinkie and Twilight's exchange from a table not too far off. As usual, Pinkie had chosen Sugarcube Corner as the setting for the get-together. It was rather ridiculous that they needed an entire party to welcome Twilight home from her four day work trip, but then, there was no saying "no" to Pinkie Pie.

Rarity took a sip from the iced coffee that sat in front of her, baring an unnecessarily eccentric bendy straw in true Pinkie Pie fashion. Rarity had been the first to arrive, other than Pinkie of course, as she liked to make it a point to arrive to events exactly on time, whenever possible.

She looked around. Applejack and Fluttershy were having their own little conversation on the other side of the room. Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, was nowhere to be seen.

Typical Rainbow Dash. She may have been the fastest flyer in all of Equestria, but she took her sweet time arriving at events that weren't explicitly about her.

Rarity shook her head. If Rainbow didn't show up soon, Pinkie was sure to flip out over it. That was an event that Rarity did not particularly look forward to sitting through. Dash had better get that colorful tail of hers over here. This was for her own sake as well. If she _did_ show late (or worse, didn't show at all, but that was a world Rarity didn't want to live in), Pinkie would never let the poor girl hear the end of it.

"Well howdy there, Rarity!" The unicorn looked up to find that Applejack and Fluttershy had approached her, both smiling contentedly. "Mighty fine day fer a party, dontcha think?" AJ inquired.

Rarity smirked. "Applejack, darling," she replied, waving a hoof, "however true that may be, I think we all know that, were you to ask dear Pinkie Pie this question, she would tell you that any day is a 'mighty fine' day for a party."

Applejack chuckled. "Eh heh, that's probably true."

"How are you doing, Rarity?" Fluttershy asked. "I haven't seen you in a couple of days."

"Oh, I'm doing absolutely fabulously, Fluttershy, just as always," Rarity answered. "I've had a few orders to keep with, but it's nothing a master seamstress such as myself can't handle. Oh, and I've been looking after Sweetie Belle for my parents. The girl is absolutely ecstatic to be leaving school soon."

Applejack nodded. "Oh yeah, Applebloom's been pretty excited about it herself. She's been thinkin' about what she wants to study in, since the Crusaders' cutie marks are different an' all, and she told me she's considerin' carpentry!"

"Ooh, that sounds nice," commented Fluttershy.

Applejack pulled her hat over her chest and wiped a tear from her eye. "Oh, they just grow up so fast, don't they?"

"Indeed," Rarity concurred. She rested her chin on her hooves and thought back fondly, "It feels like just yesterday mother and father brought little Sweetie back from the hospital." She sighed. "I should certainly call it one of the best days of my life."

"Darn tootin'." AJ replaced her hat on her head. "But there's no sense livin' in the past. Jus' gotta go where the wind takes ya."

 **"Hi friends!"**

Fluttershy stepped back as Pinkie bounded over to them, followed shortly by Twilight. "Thanks for coming everypony!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"No problem, Pinkie Pie," Applejack replied.

"I suppose it has been a while since we've all gotten together like this," said Rarity. "It's kind of nice."

"It's good to see you again, Twilight." Fluttershy and Twilight exchanged a friendly hug. "Are Spike and Starlight coming?"

Twilight shook her head. "Nope. Those two have been washing dishes on and off since yesterday afternoon." Her eyes crossed. "I didn't even know it was _possible_ to make that much of a mess in four days."

"Oh, that's too bad," said Fluttershy. "Well, maybe you can at least bring back a slice of cake for them."

Twilight smiled, scratching behind her head. "Yeah, that's probably the least I could do for them."

"Okie dokie!" Pinkie sang, "I'll make sure there's a couple pieces left!"

Rarity took another sip of her iced tea. Fluttershy had gone on to inquire about the summit, and Twilight seemed happy to talk about it. Rarity would have gladly listened in, but her attention was rather drawn towards Applejack, who was looking around with a confused expression. The unicorn's expression flattened, and she considered saying something, but AJ beat her to the punch.

"Ugh... now where in the hay is _Rainbow Dash?"_

Pinkie's ears perked.

Rarity facehoofed.

Twilight and Fluttershy exchanged glances. "She told me yesterday that she was coming..." Fluttershy said.

"Oh, you know Rainbow Dash!" Rarity intervened, chuckling nervously. "Always... fashionably late." She slid her drink a couple inches away from herself and set a forehoof against her temple.

"Well, 's mighty rude a' her not ta show up on time," AJ grumbled.

"It's not like it's anything new for Rainbow," Twilight said.

Rarity glanced to Pinkie, who was grinning, much to the unicorn's relief. "I'm sure that Dashie is just busy practicing her stunts!" the pink mare exclaimed. "She'll come when she's all finished!"

"Ah'd be surprised if she even knows what time it is," Applejack scoffed, and Rarity observed Pinkie's ears flatten.

Rarity stepped off of her chair and approached Pinkie, setting a hoof on her shoulder. "Now I'm sure that whatever Dash is doing, she hasn't forgotten about your invitation." Pinkie stared at Rarity expectantly. "It's possible that there's something holding her up. Or, who knows, she may be on her way here at this very moment. We just won't know for certain until-"

In that moment, Rarity was cut off as the door to Sugarcube Corner was slammed open, and in zoomed Rainbow Dash, skidding across the room and bumping against the counter. The others watched her push up to her hooves and shake herself, dusting her shoulders off. "Have no fear!" she shouted, her wings lifting her very slightly off of the ground. "Rainbow Dash is here!"

"Dashie!" Rainbow was immediately pinned back to the ground as Pinkie pounced on her, nuzzling the pegasus's colorful mane. "You came!"

Rainbow Dash laughed and stood up again, lifting Pinkie up with her as the earth pony tightened her hug. "Of course I did!" Dash cried, making a movement to playfully toss Pinkie off. "Nopony in their right mind would ever miss a Pinkie Party! Even if it is a small one."

Rarity let out a sigh of relief, observing Pinkie hop up and down with a big grin across her face. An excited Pinkie was infinitely better than an upset one.

"Mighty kind of ya to show up, Dash," said Applejack as Rainbow and Pinkie walked over to join the group's circle.

Rainbow shrugged. "Well, I was just a little..." She gritted her teeth. "...preoccupied."

"Preoccupied doing tricks without bringing a watch?" Fluttershy assumed, causing Dash's ears to flatten.

"Maybe." Making to change the subject, Rainbow extended her hoof towards Twilight. "Hey, Twi."

"Hi, Rainbow." Twilight knocked her hoof against Dash's, rolling her eyes in the process.

Well, Pinkie was contented and everyone seemed to be in a generally good mood, so Rarity decided it was probably her turn to get the ball rolling. "Well then, now that we're all here," she said, gaining the attention of the five ponies around her, "I see no reason for us to to just stand around chit-chatting any longer. What do you say, Miss Pie?"

Pinkie's eyes lit up, before she leaped backwards in an impressive backflip and landed on top of her party cannon. "Okay, ponies! Let's get this party started!"

"Hooray!"

* * *

It hadn't taken long for Rarity to find herself once again sat down at a table with her iced tea, this time with a bit of entertainment. Rainbow Dash had somehow managed to get roped into a game of "pin the tail on the pony", and she looked kind of hilarious in a blindfold. Pinkie was encouraging the pegasus from the sidelines, shouting loudly whenever she turned in the wrong direction.

"A little to the left, Rainbow Dash," Rarity suggested, and Rainbow bumped her head on the table she was sitting at. "No, your _other_ left, Rainbow Dash."

"You can do it, Dashie!" Pinkie squeaked.

Rainbow Dash gave a nearly inaudible grumble through the brown "tail" held in her mouth, taking a few uncertain steps in the direction of the crudely drawn pony on the wall. Pinkie let out an exuberant gasp as Dash placed the "tail" on the drawing, only to re-inhale it upon realizing that it was on the pony's forehead. "Eh. Close enough."

Rainbow removed the blidfold from her eyes and readjusted her gaze, looking upon her rather embarrassing work. She snorted. "Pfft. I could have done _way_ better than that if it weren't for Rarity's 'advice'."

"My sincerest apologies if you can't tell right from left, Miss Dash," Rarity retorted.

"I can too tell right from left! Just... not when I'm dizzy."

Rarity cocked an eyebrow, making Rainbow scrunch her face at her. "Ugh! This game is stupid!" Dash complained. "Let's do something different, Pinkie."

"Okay!" And Rainbow Dash was dragged away before another word was said.

Rarity couldn't help but chuckle. Those two certainly had some interesting chemistry, to say the least. It was always amusing to watch them together, the way Pinkie would hang on Dash's every word and Dash would get excited over Pinkie's insane schemes. Of course Pinkie would deny any accusations that she had a closer relationship with one friend than the others, but Rarity could see it clearly, even if Rainbow Dash couldn't.

She hopped out of her seat, levitating the iced tea along with her, and trotted over to see what Twilight and the others were talking about.

"...so I'll probably be gone for about a week," Twilight was finishing.

"An' when is this again?" Applejack inquired.

"June 12th," Twilight answered.

Rarity raised her ears. "Oh, what is this we're talking about now?" she asked.

"Sunset and the others in the human world are going to be graduating in June," Twilight answered, "and they want me to attend the ceremony."

"Oh, that's wonderful for them." Rarity placed her mouth on the bendy straw again.

"Is Sunset going to come over before then?" asked Fluttershy.

Twilight shrugged. "She hasn't decided yet. They're still finishing up testing right now, and she doesn't think she'll have any time for a vacation."

"Oh, that's too bad," Fluttershy said. "I would have liked to see Sunset."

Twilight's expression brightened. "Well, after the graduation, she'll have all the time in the world." Grinning widely, she added, "We'll get to see her here then."

"Well, are ya'll gonna go over there to see her?" AJ questioned.

Rarity noticed Twilight brush a hoof through her mane. "Well, maybe..." the alicorn answered. "I'd have to ask Sunset if it's okay." The hoof that had passed through her hair was now held against her other foreleg.

"I bet she'd be really happy to see you," Fluttershy noted, "especially with all of the testing she's doing. She must be really stressed..."

"Oh, I'm sure she's fine." Twilight's right ear twitched. "But... yeah, I'll ask her."

Rarity held a hoof up to her chin in thought. Though these thoughts weren't so much about Twilight, her actions had prompted several ideas about Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. The white mare glanced around to try and figure out where the two had gone off to. Oh... there they were. Rainbow was talking about something and Pinkie was hopping up and down. Rainbow Dash made a short inquiry, Pinkie's response to which was to nod furiously. And then Rarity made a sudden realization. She glanced at Twilight, whose hoof was now nervously held to her mouth, and then back at Pinkie, whose gaze was eagerly affixed to Rainbow Dash. Of course! Rarity knocked a hoof against her head. How had she not seen it before? It was as clear as the Crystal Empire!

"Hey Pinkie, can you get me a milkshake?"

"Sure thing, Dashie!"

Rarity watched Pinkie bound behind the counter, and then pop back up with a blender. The unicorn set her iced tea on the nearest table and trotted over to the bar.

"Hiya, Rarity!" Pinkie exclaimed, dumping some milk into the blender.

"Yes, hello Pinkie Pie." Rarity pulled up a stool and sat herself down. "Now Pinkie, there was something I was hoping to talk to you about."

"Okay!" Pinkie whipped a tub of neapolitan ice cream out of the ether and plopped three hearty scoops into the blender. "What is it?"

"It's about Rainbow Dash," Rarity said.

"I like talking about Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie replied.

Rarity's brow lowered. "Yes, so I've noticed." She glanced to the side, using her magic to lift a menu out of a holder and pretending to read it. "More specifically, I wanted to talk about..." The menu lowered slightly. "...your _feelings_ for her."

Pinkie cocked her head to the side. "What do you mean?"

The smirk from earlier reappeared across Rarity's muzzle. "Oh, Pinkie, Pinkie, Pinkie..." she teased. "You don't have to pretend that you don't understand. I've seen the way you look at her, the way you follow her every whim. The way you greet her with more enthusiasm than you do any of us, how you simply loathe even the prospect of her ignoring you. You're clearly head over hooves for her." She cast her gaze to the side, brushing a strand of hair away from her eye. "Honestly I rather envy you. I remember when I used to think like you, Pinkie Pie, those were very special times indeed. The difference is that you actually have a chance."

Rarity kind of felt like her own love life had been dropped in that blender of Pinkie's. Every crush she'd ever had had turned her down, and she'd broken up with her most recent coltfriend barely a month ago upon discovering he was only interested in her successful business. Perhaps things would be easier for Rarity if she thought like Pinkie and Twilight, but alas, you can't help how you feel, and Rarity didn't feel that way about mares. But it didn't matter. She just knew there was a perfect stallion waiting for her somewhere out there, and someday they would find each other, and it would be the best day of Rarity's life. But this wasn't about Rarity. This was about Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie dropped a couple of chocolate chip cookies in the blender, giggling as she did so. "Silly Rarity!" she said, causing the unicorn to look at her in confusion. "Dashie is my bestest best best friend! Of course I look at her funny."

Rarity frowned. "No..." she sighed, setting the menu down. "No, Pinkie. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"Sure I do!" Pinkie replied, her smile unwavering. "You're saying that I have an _enormous_ crush on Rainbow Dash!" She ducked under the counter again, this time returning with a bottle of chocolate syrup. "But I don't! Like I said, Dashie is my bestest best best friend! Why would I want that to change?"

Huh. If that was truly the case, then perhaps Rarity had too soon jumped to conclusions? Then again, Pinkie Pie could be a perfectly capable liar at times. But she could also be a perfectly _incapable_ liar at others. What to do? Rarity knew that there were signs to be observed when a pony was lying, but unfortunately she wouldn't know where to look for them. It seemed that there was only one option: investigate further.

"Well then, Pinkie Pie, if you were to ask for my opinion on the matter-"

*whirrrrr*

"Sorry! Blender running! Can't hear you!"

Rarity recoiled at the sound, and when it stopped, Pinkie whipped out a cup, poured her sugary concoction into it, slipped in a straw for good measure, and jumped over the bar before Rarity could say anything more.

"Here ya go Dashie! On the house!"

"Awesome! Thanks, Pink."

"No problemo!"

Rarity scowled. That was just too suspicious to ignore. But she couldn't confirm her suspicions just yet, she didn't have enough intel. Sure, it wasn't right to be messing with the personal lives of her good friends... but Rarity couldn't help it. She had found herself a mission, and she was going to go through with it, for Pinkie and Dash's sake.

* * *

|| "So, Pinkie sees you come here often? Yes." ||


	3. 1C A Pegasus Meanders About Ponyville

|| I'm _so_ good at naming chapters guys, you wouldn't believe it. ||

* * *

 **1C. A Pegasus Meanders About Ponyville**

Let's see here. Food for the animals? No there was still plenty, it could wait a few days. There was a load of fish that had to be picked up from Sea Swirl, that wouldn't take too long. Some wooden planks to repair the chicken coop, that wouldn't be a problem either. And... some more parchment would be good too, she was running low.

Fluttershy made a few adjustments to her shopping list, glanced over it, and then replaced it in her saddlebags. This was good! It was bright and early in the morning, and Rarity for whatever reason had cancelled their weekly spa trip today, so she had all day to get her errands done, possibly with time to spare. So, where to start? Probably the parchment, it was closest and the easiest to carry. Okay, that would do.

So Fluttershy cantered into town, humming as she went. She looked around at the sky, the bright sun and fluffy clouds. The birds in the trees sang in response to the pegasus's song, lifting her spirits. It was another lovely day in Ponyville, and if anypony was enjoying the peace, it was Fluttershy. She was quite happy not needing to confront ancient mythical monsters and blast them with rainbows. Like, being a national hero was nice and everything, but she somehow doubted it would surprise anypony if she said that she would much rather just live a contented life like this. She silently hoped to herself every morning when she woke up that there wouldn't be any monsters outside her window, and her cutie mark wouldn't be glowing, and Twilight wouldn't bust into her house and drag her back to the castle, or anything of the sort.

This wasn't to say that she wouldn't go along to help save the world if she was needed again, it was simply to say that she really didn't want to need to do so. She had seen so many terrifying things in her lifetime that she was honestly surprised she didn't constantly wake up in a cold sweat. So, this was nice, the harmony taking place at the moment, even if a nagging voice in the back of her head told Fluttershy that it wasn't going to last. For now, she had errands to run. "Live in the now," she recalled being told at some point probably.

"Hey Fluttershy!" came a familiar shout, and Fluttershy turned her gaze again to the sky. Down flew Rainbow Dash, making a movement with her wings to pull up before she could hit the ground.

"Oh, good morning Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy greeted with a warm smile. "What brings you here?"

"Eh, nothing important." Dash shrugged. "My cupboard was looking kinda empty, so I figured I'd go out for breakfast. Wanna tag along?"

"Oh, that sounds lovely Rainbow, but I can't. I have to pick up some food from Sea Swirl and I wouldn't want to keep her waiting."

"Meh, more for me." Rainbow casually flew beside Fluttershy as she continued her trip down to the village. "So, Flutters," she made an attempt at starting conversation, "what have you got going on today? You know," the blue pegasus planted herself on the ground to better keep with Fluttershy's pace, "other than the whole food-pickup-thing."

Fluttershy giggled at her friend's choice of wording. "Oh, well, I'm going to pick up some parchment first, and then I need to get some wood, and then..." She tapped a hoof against her chin. "...I don't know after that, I guess I'll have the afternoon to myself." Her brow lowered, and she inquired, "And what are you doing after your _empty-cupboard-breakfast-_ thing?"

Rainbow Dash flailed a hoof mildly in defense. "Ugh, don't... don't! Don't mock me!" She was laughing through her sentence, and it didn't take terribly long for Fluttershy to join her. When they were about finished, Dash properly replied, "Eh, I'm not working today, so probably gonna practice my tricks again. Unless something comes up."

"Have you heard anything new from the Wonderbolts?" Fluttershy asked, and Rainbow shook her head.

"Nope, I have absolutely no idea when the next show is. But, y'know, more practice time, right?"

"As long as you're not worried."

Dash smirked proudly. "And I'm not, so everything's good."

"Good."

They had made it into town, and Fluttershy was now glancing around in search of the store that sold parchment paper. She didn't visit it very often, so she didn't really remember where it was exactly. "Um," she turned to Rainbow Dash, who in turn turned back to Fluttershy, "do you have any idea where the store is...?"

Rainbow scratched her head, looking around at the buildings. "Um...?"

"Oh, Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash, there you are!"

The pegasi were spared an awkward and confused search for the store by Rarity, who was now trotting over to meet them.

"Oh, it's Rarity," Fluttershy observed. "Good morning, Rarity."

"Yes, good morning, Fluttershy dear. What brings you out from your cottage this fine day?"

"Just some errands is all."

"What's up, Rares?" Rainbow questioned.

A devious smile crossed Rarity's face, only for her to quickly mask it with a less evil-looking expression. It didn't look like Rainbow Dash had noticed. "Oh, I was just hoping you might join me for dinner tonight, Miss Dash. I thought we might discuss a few things, and what better to discuss over than food?"

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "You... want me to go out to dinner with you?"

"No!" Rarity exclaimed. "I mean, yes? Not like..." She sighed. "Not just us. I was hoping to bring along Pinkie Pie as well."

Rainbow's eyebrow raised even higher, and she exchanged a quick glance with Fluttershy. "Pinkie Pie...?" Dash questioned. "And... this is gonna be _where?"_

"In a restaurant, of course," Rarity answered. "There are a few decent establishments here in Ponyville."

"Pinkie Pie... in a... restaurant?" Rainbow pressed a hoof against her head, an action which Fluttershy almost felt like copying. Rarity did realize what she was saying, right? Because Pinkie couldn't sit still for a second, and hardly did bringing her out to eat ever end well. It usually ended with an especially large tip for the waiter, and that was at best. Fluttershy could say this from experience.

Rainbow Dash shook herself. "So, let me get this straight," she said, eyeing Rarity with suspicion, "you want _me_... and _Pinkie_... to go to a _restraunt_... with _you."_

Rarity nodded pointedly. "Yes Rainbow Dash, that's exactly what I want."

Fluttershy stared at Rainbow Dash, who apparently had quite a few gears turning at the moment. Eventually the blue pegasus flattened her expression, and replied, "Alright, fine, I'm not doing anything today anyway. But only if you flip the bill!"

Rarity nodded cheerfully. "Absolutely, it's on me. Thank you so much, just drop by my boutique tonight and we'll all go together!"

The unicorn made to leave, but Fluttershy prevented her. "Oh, Rarity!" The previously named turned back. "Do you suppose you could tell me where I could buy some parchment?"

Rarity paused for a moment to process Fluttershy's question, and then smiled. "Oh, of course! Just go up to the end of the block and it's the third building on the right. Ta ta now!"

"Oh. Oh! Thank you, Rarity! Goodbye!"

Rainbow Dash scowled. "What do you suppose _that_ was all about?" she inquired.

"I have no idea," Fluttershy answered, "but I guess you'll find out tonight."

Rainbow huffed. "Ugh, Rarity is so weird sometimes." She extended her wings and flapped them a little, picking herself up off of the ground. "Welp, I guess I should go get that breakfast then. See you around, 'Shy."

Fluttershy waved as Rainbow Dash zoomed back into the sky and away from the shopping district.

So she followed Rarity's directions, and on the third building to the right, there was the store. She pushed the door open and heard a little bell ring, and was immediately overcome by the powerful scent of paper. She looked around. There were lots of different kinds of parchment, none of which Fluttershy could tell the difference between. Some of them were different colors, like white or orange or a slightly darker tan than the parchment she normally used. She didn't understand why there were so many different kinds, and she wouldn't be lying if she said she felt a little uncomfortable here, because everyone else shopping here looked like they knew exactly what they were looking at.

Fluttershy quietly stepped past a display of ceramic inkwells, her head lowered slightly as she looked around for her usual parchment. Then she spotted a familiar face looking over quills.

"Oh... Twilight Sparkle!"

The alicorn perked, then looked for who had called her. Upon finding Fluttershy, she smiled and waved to her friend. "Hi Fluttershy, what are you doing here?" she asked when the pegasus approached her.

"I'm running low on parchment," Fluttershy explained. "Did Spike and Starlight ever finish those dishes?"

"Surprisingly, yes. I thought they would never finish!" Twilight pulled a violet and red quill out of a rack and examined it. "They did such a great job, I decided to do some shopping in their place."

"That's nice of you."

"Here, I'll help you find your parchment."

The two ponies headed back over to where the parchment was placed, mostly in separated rolls. Twilight looked over some of the different colors, and Fluttershy asked, "So, did you ask Sunset?"

Twilight's ears flattened, and her eyes flicked back and forth a couple times. How odd. Lately she had been acting a little strange whenever the human dimension was brought up. Fluttershy was curious as to why this was, but didn't want to ask in case it hurt Twilight's feelings.

"About visiting," Fluttershy clarified.

"Oh! Yes." Twilight turned her attention back to the parchment. "I'm going next weekend. Just to hang out a little, you know... I'll spend the night there."

"I'm sure Sunset will really enjoy your company." Fluttershy had only met Sunset Shimmer in person a couple of times, excluding the... first time. She was a nice pony, and good company. She was also really smart, which was great for Twilight, because there wasn't really wasn't anypony else who could keep up with her when she started talking about science and magic, not even Starlight. Well, maybe Sunburst, but they didn't see each other too often. The point was, Twilight and Sunset were really good friends, and it made Fluttershy happy that her good friend had another good friend who she could talk to.

Fluttershy had kind of forgotten what the were doing here for a minute.

"Ah, here you go." Twilight pulled a light tan roll of parchment off of a shelf. "Triple ply. Very durable."

"Oh, okay. Thank you." Twilight levitated the parchment over to Fluttershy, who took it in her hoof. "I probably would have been here all day trying to decide."

"No problem. Well, I'm gonna be here a little longer. See you around?"

"Okay. Thanks again!"

Fluttershy paid for the parchment and placed it in her saddlebags, then left for her next stop.

* * *

"Goodbye, Sea Swirl! Thanks again!"

The mulberry unicorn waved to Fluttershy as she trotted away, a medium sized bag of fresh fish hanging from her side. It was a little heavy, and the pegasus had to make an effort to keep her balance, but it was worth it. She quietly thanked the fish that had given their lives to feed her animal friends, before quickly refreshing herself on where she was going next. Oh, yes, the hardware store. But... oh, she probably should have thought of this before. How did she plan on carrying both the fish _and_ the wood? Oh dear. She really hadn't thought this over. Well, she wasn't getting anything done by just standing here...

"Hey, Fluttershy!"

Oh dear. Who was this now?

Oh, it was the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Fluttershy hadn't seen them in a while.

Scootaloo zipped ahead on her scooter and did a 180, which in turn caused the wagon it was dragging to tilt and send Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle tumbling out of it and onto their faces. It was a good thing they were wearing helmets.

"Ow. I think we're getting too big for that wagon."

"Yah think?"

Scootaloo helped Sweetie Belle up and Apple Bloom shook the dust out of her hair. "G'morning, Fluttershy!" the smallish earth pony greeted.

"Good morning," Fluttershy replied. "What are the three of you up to?"

"Mostly jus' lookin' fer something ta do," Apple Bloom answered.

"I'm looking for a job!" Scootaloo shouted excitedly.

Fluttershy's ears perked. Scootaloo, looking for a job? Oh, of course. Applejack said just yesterday that they would be leaving school soon. How wonderful that the little pegasus was getting a head start.

"Really? That's great." Fluttershy smiled. "I hope you find a good one. Do all of you know what you're going to do once school is over?"

"I'm gonna do the same thing that Rainbow Dash did!" Scootaloo declared. "Except with my scooter instead of flying. I'm already self-taught, so all I've gotta do is keep practicing and find a job to support myself until I can make it big!"

Knowing Scootaloo, that last part was probably an almost direct quote from Rainbow Dash. It was pretty cute how much she admired her "sister".

"Rarity said that I can work in her boutique and she'll actually pay me like a regular employee," said Sweetie Belle. "So that's pretty cool. She said it would be a good experience."

"Where are you going, Fluttershy?" Scootaloo inquired. She then sniffed the air, and her face scrunched up. "And what the _hay_ is in that bag?" Sweetie Belle forcefully nudged Scootaloo in the ribs. Scootaloo had probably picked up on that language from Rainbow Dash.

"Fish," Fluttershy answered plainly, "and the hardware store. I need wood to repair my chicken coop."

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle both looked like they had something to follow that up with, but Apple Bloom beat them. "Ooh! Do ya think Ah could fix it for ya?" she requested. "'Cuz, 'cuz Ah was thinkin' that Ah could get inta carpentry, so like, Ah could help fix things on the farm!"

Fluttershy blinked. As much as she wanted to support Apple Bloom's endeavors, things had a tendency to... well, _break_ around the CMC. But there must have been some way to help. Oh, okay. Fluttershy had an idea.

"How about this," she offered to the bright-eyed filly standing in front of her, "you can come to the hardware store with me. I know some really nice stallions there who might be willing to teach you."

Apple Bloom gasped. "Really?!"

Fluttershy nodded.

"Awesome!"

"Sweet!" Scootaloo cheered. "You go, Apple Bloom!"

"Nice, that'll really get the ball rolling," Sweetie added. "I hope you find your mentor there."

"Aw, thanks guys." Fluttershy watched the three share their signature high-hoof, before Apple Bloom bolted off in the direction of the hardware store. "C'mon, Fluttershy! We're burnin' daylight!"

"Welp, I'm going home," said Sweetie Belle trotting off in the opposite direction.

"See you, Sweetie."

As Scootaloo started to leave, a thought suddenly occurred to Fluttershy. "Scootaloo, wait!" she called, and the smaller pegasus turned her head back. Fluttershy lifted the bag of fish off of her back and dropped it in the wagon, Scootaloo watching her do so with a raised eyebrow. "Do you think you could take that up to my property? You can just leave it on the doorstep."

"Um...?"

Then Fluttershy proceeded to pull five bits out of her saddlebags and placed them inside the wagon as well. Scootaloo's expression lightened.

"Oh. Okay, sure thing Fluttershy!" She grinned, then started up the road towards Fluttershy's house. What a nice little pony.

"Hey Fluttershy, what are yah waitin' for?!"

"Don't worry, I'm coming!"

* * *

"Good morning, Mr. Jack Hammer," Fluttershy greeted a brown pegasus who was restocking shelves.

Jack Hammer wiped his brow and turned to Fluttershy and Apple Bloom. "Morning, Fluttershy. What can I do for you?"

"Well, I came here to buy some wood, but there's one other thing..."

"Sure, what's up?"

Fluttershy lightly nudged Apple Bloom forward, and the farm pony mustered up one of the most adorable grins she could manage. "This is my friend Apple Bloom," Fluttershy explained. "She's going to be leaving school soon, and she was hoping to study carpentry. I thought maybe you or one of your friends could...?"

"Apple Bloom, huh?" Jack Hammer extended his hoof to the filly, who gladly shook it. "You're Applejack's sister, aren't you?"

"Sure am!" Apple Bloom replied. "An' Ah'm real good a fixin' things. Ah fixed mah sister's old tree house a couple years ago, all by mahself!"

"Is that so? You must be pretty good already, then."

Apple Bloom nodded proudly. "But, Ah wanna be even better."

Jack Hammer scratched his head. "Well, it's been years since the last time I've mentored a foal, but I guess it couldn't hurt..." Apple Bloom's eyes somehow got even brighter. "But, that's not a definite 'yes'. I'll need to see what you can do, and your parent or guardian will have to fill out some paperwork..."

"Ah'll bring Applejack up here later today!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. "She can fill out that paperwork, Ah know she'll say yes!"

Jack Hammer smiled. "Alright, alright. You do that, and I'll see what I can do for you."

"Yes!" Apple Bloom jumped in the air victoriously. "Ah'm gonna get a mentor! Ah'm gonna get a degree!"

Fluttershy giggled. "That's great, Apple Bloom." She was glad she had set the filly up on the road to success. As far as Fluttershy knew, neither Applejack nor Big Mac had ever gotten a proper degree, since they had stuck around on the farm, so Apple Bloom would be the first in their generation if Jack Hammer actually went through with it. That was great. Fluttershy always did like helping ponies.

"Now, what was this about you needing wood?"

* * *

|| I can't believe how much Fluttershy says "oh" in this chapter. I'm good at writing, right guys? ||


	4. 1D Dinner Date?

|| Oops I completely forgot about uploading this here. Uhh... HERE YOU GO! ||

* * *

 **1D. Dinner... Date?**

Pinkie Pie was happy! Of course, Pinkie Pie was hardly ever _not_ happy. There were just so many things to be happy about! Like the pretty evening sky! And all of the nice ponies getting along in Ponyville! And the fact that Pinkie got invited to dinner with Rarity and Dashie!

Oh sure, it was pretty obvious to Pinkie what Rarity was trying to accomplish, but it didn't matter. All that mattered to Pinkie was that she would get to spend some quality time with her best friends! And who knows? Maybe she could even convince Rarity to throw those silly ideas of hers out the window so they could just have a nice, normal, _fantastically fun_ night!

Honestly, Pinkie wasn't entirely sure where Rarity had gotten a silly idea like that from! And by "silly idea", we of course mean that Rarity seemed to think that Pinkie Pie had a bit of a thing for Rainbow Dash. Well, a _big_ thing really. Like a _huge, enormous, GIGUNDOUS_ thing. Like, Rarity thought that Pinkie Pie wanted to be more than just bestest best best friends with Dashie! But she didn't! Because that would just be silly. Rarity was being a silly pony.

Although, Pinkie was being a pretty silly pony too. Mostly because she was treating Dashie different than her other friends. She didn't want that to happen! Pinkie Pie wanted _all_ of her friends to feel special, not just one of them! But, _she wasn't doing a very good job of that_ if Rarity could see what she was doing. Bad Pinkie! Don't leap on Dashie every time you see her! And if you are going to, you have to do it to Twilight and Rarity and Fluttershy and Applejack too! After all, all of our friends are important.

And here's the place! Rarity's place, to be exact. This is where Rarity said to meet her and Dashie! And look! There she was!

"Dashie!" Pinkie zoomed forward and tackled the pegasus, sending them both rolling in the dirt. Rainbow Dash gave a squeaky laugh as she took over their tussle, pinning Pinkie down beneath her.

"Ha! Got you!" Dash exclaimed. Pinkie giggled, playfully squirming in an attempt to escape from her captor. She failed, and Dash smirked. Then her wings unfurled and reached downwards, and Pinkie found herself being tickled. The earth pony squealed. Not the tickles! _Anything but the tickles!_ But she couldn't speak any protests through her giggles.

"Eek! Stop! I surrender!" she eventually managed.

Rainbow Dash chuckled, folded her wings back up and stepping away from her best friend. _"That's_ for jumping me!" she declared.

Pinkie rolled over onto her stomach, trying to control her breathing as the laughs still didn't cease. "He he! Okay, I deserved that." She hopped back up, enthusiastically shaking dust out of her coat. "So! Where's Rarity?"

Dashie snorted, making a not-happy face. "She's still inside!" the pegasus growled. "She told me that she's getting ready!" She stomped a hoof in frustration. "I really can't believe that pony sometimes! I mean, _she's_ the one who invited _us!"_

"Oh, that's just Rarity being Rarity!" Pinkie waved her hoof dismissively. "She'll probably be out in a minute!"

And then Pinkie felt a feeling. A very familiar feeling! Her ear flopped, her eye fluttered, her knee twitched... _uh oh!_ She leaned forward and grabbed Rainbow by the shoulders, and then pulled the pegasus towards her. They both fell back on the ground, but Pinkie had rescued Dashie from being totally squashed by the door to the boutique! Rarity stepped outside, wearing a pretty dress that of course she made herself! It wasn't the most extravagant thing she'd ever worn, but that was okay! It was probably for the best.

"Rainbow Dash! Pinkie Pie!" the unicorn exclaimed, observing the two she had named rolling in the dirt. "Whatever are you doing? We're in public, and you're filthy!"

"Sorry Rarity!" Pinkie apologized, leaning over and whirling her tail to free some of the filth.

Rainbow Dash spat on the ground indignantly in response to Rarity's scolding. "Just be happy I showed up!" she said. "What in Equestria are we doing, anyway?"

"I've already told you, darling!" Rarity replied, flipping her hair. "We're going out to dinner! Just the three of us!"

"Sounds good to me!" Pinkie exclaimed.

Ha ha, Rarity, _don't think we can't see that look you're giving us._ That silly pony really did have something up her sleeve, but Pinkie didn't care! Dashie didn't seem to notice, so it wouldn't be a problem. Rarity was just worried about Pinkie, and that was okay! It probably wouldn't take her long to realize what a silly pony she was being.

"Well then, what are we waiting for?" Rainbow Dash said, flapping her wings to lift herself off the ground. "I'm starving! Let's get to the grub!"

Rarity huffed. "Yes, of course your mind is on the food. Come along, it's this way."

So she began to trot away from her home. Dashie followed, and Pinkie Pie hopped along behind them.

* * *

 _Wowzers!_ There was a whole lot of things on this menu! Things with cheese! Things with chocolate! How would Pinkie ever decide? Rarity said that she would pay for all three of them, but Pinkie didn't want to be rude so she brought along her own little Pinkie Piggy Bank. There wasn't much in it. Because Pinkie had a savings account. That Twilight controlled because she didn't trust Pinkie with it.

This was nice! Pinkie didn't get invited out very often. Which was okay, because she knew she had a tendency to make things explode. She didn't really like fancy food, anyway.

"Hey Rarity," said Rainbow Dash, causing both Rarity and Pinkie to perk. "You said that there was something you wanted to talk about. That was why you wanted us to come here."

"Oh, yes." Rarity lowered the menu she was holding up with her magic. "Indeed, there was something I wanted to discuss with you.

Pinkie bit her tongue.

"Well?" Dashie prompted. "What was it?"

Rarity was about to answer Dashie's question, but was interrupted when the waiter (whom Pinkie could identify as Savoir Fare) approached their table. "May I get you ze drink?" he inquired with that fancy accent Pinkie knew Applejack hated.

"I'll have a glass of water, thank you," Rarity answered.

Rainbow Dash blew a hair away from her face, resting an elbow on the table and making Rarity scowl. "I just have some Para-Sprite," she said.

Savoir turned to Pinkie, who blinked. She pushed the menu against her face and quickly skimmed over it a couple more times, before placing it down in front of her with a wide grin. "One Triple Hot Fudge Peppermint Strawberry Marshmallow Dark Chocolate Cinnamon Pretzel Root Beer Float, if you would so kindly, good sir!"

Savoir stared at Pinkie with a blank expression, then pulled a notepad and pencil out of his coat. "Could... you repeat that, mademoiselle?"

 _"One_ Triple Hot Fudge Peppermint Strawberry Marshmallow Dark Chocolate Cinnamon Pretzel Root Beer Float," Pinkie paused to take a deep breath, _"if_ you would so kindly, good sir!"

Savoir Fare finished writing Pinkie's order in his notebook, before tucking both the notepad and pencil back into his coat. "Of... course."

He began to leave, until Pinkie called, "Ooh! Make it two!" Savoir rolled his eyes and continued. "And don't forget the sprinkles!"

Dashie was snickering. "Pinkie Pie, I have absolutely no idea how you can eat something like that."

"It's easy!" Pinkie exclaimed, her grin even wider. "I put it in my mouth, and then I swallow it!"

With a snort, Dashie burst out laughing, drawing some attention that Rarity wasn't particularly fond of. _He he!_ Pinkie liked making Dashie laugh. Well, she liked making anypony laugh! But Pinkie liked it when Dashie laughed. Because when Dashie laughed at Pinkie, she laughed really hard! Like, harder than any other pony ever did! It made Pinkie really happy to make Dashie happy.

This was something that Rarity had seemed to pick up on.

Pinkie covered her smile with her hooves. Nngh! _Bad Pinkie!_ Stop it! _Stop!_

"It's a lovely night, don't you think?" Rainbow Dash's laughing fit ceased when Rarity spoke.

Pinkie Pie made a quick movement that caused the table to wobble, folding her forelegs behind her head and crossing her hind legs on top of the table. "Yeahhhh, it surrrrre is!" she shouted, her eyes flicking back and forth. _Rainbow Dash looked at her curiously,_ causing her to sweat. Wow Pinkie, you're really bad at this.

"Indeed." Rarity nodded. It was pretty nice. The cafe's lights were dim, so most of the light was coming in from the sunset outside. It was pretty pretty. Where was Rarity going with this...? "It's a bit _dark,_ though," said the unicorn. Her head ducked under the table, and when she came back up, she was carrying a candle. She placed it at the center of the table and used her magic to light it. "Ah, much better."

Pinkie's eyes widened.

No! No, Pinkie. Let Rarity do her thing. Dashie... Rainbow Dash doesn't suspect anything, so don't act like we do.

"Hm, come to think of it..."

Rarity, no.

"...this table is a bit bland. It could use a bit of decor."

Rarity, _no._

And then there was a vase full of flowers on the table.

 _Darn it, Rarity._

"Really, Rarity?" Rainbow Dash questioned. "Flowers? I think any table you can eat off of is a fine table."

Rarity snorted. "Of course you do." She tapped a hoof against her chin, and Pinkie detected a scrap of that evil smirk she sometimes had. "Oh, what is taking our drinks? I'm going to go find our waiter." She hopped out of her chair and trotted away, leaving Rainbow Dash to scowl at her.

"Rarity! Rarity, you still haven't told us what you... what you..." Rainbow Dash grumbled, laying back in her own chair. "Whatever..."

All of a sudden there was a sound, a sound that made Pinkie cringe and drew Rainbow Dash's gaze over to the edge of the cafe. It wasn't just any sound, oh no. Oh, no. It was music, being played by a performer Pinkie knew as Octavia Melody. How had Rarity managed to convince her to do this?!

Calm down Pinkie! It's okay. Rainbow Dash still didn't suspect anything, even though Rarity was very obviously hiding behind those potted plants over there.

 _But, whatever!_ Pinkie Pie had promised herself that she would would have _fun_ that night, no matter what crazy scheme Rarity had cooked up in that kooky head of hers. So Pinkie sucked it up. This _would_ be a good night! _Pinkie was determined!_

"Hey, Pinkie?"

"Yes, Dashie?"

"Why are you sitting like that?"

It then occurred to Pinkie that she was still leaned back with both sets of legs crossed. She quickly corrected this, smiling nervously.

Their drinks eventually came, and Dashie made a comment about Rarity not being back yet, which Pinkie was speedy to change the topic from. Soon Pinkie was drinking the first of two elaborate root beer floats and listening to a story about an epic crash Soarin had during Wonderbolts practice. Dashie had a tendency to get really, _super into_ her storytelling, making big hoof motions and shouting a lot. Pinkie liked listening to Dashie tell stories. She always made them _super duper_ interesting!

Rarity the silly pony trudged out from her hiding spot upon realizing that things weren't going to escalate at all at this rate. Dashie made a query about where Rarity had gone off to, and she answered that she went to the bathroom.

Then they argued for like, five minutes.

"So you were in the bathroom for _half an hour?!"_

"No, I was... trying to find the waiter!"

"You just said that you were in the bathroom!"

"I did go to the bathroom!"

"For half an hour?!"

"No, for three minutes! And then I tried to find the waiter!"

"The waiter visited us fifteen minutes after you left!"

Pinkie's gaze darted between the two, and she loudly slurped from her drink as it did so. Normally Pinkie didn't like to see her friends fighting, but hey! At least Rarity was distracted from her plan.

* * *

Eventually _food came!_ Food always makes Pinkie Pie happy. She had ordered a big plate of mac and cheese. But it was _fancy_ mac and cheese with, like, five different kinds of pastas, and _twelve_ different kinds of cheeses! It also had some weird seasonings on it? And some of them were kind of bitter, and bitter was Pinkie's _least_ favorite flavor. So the mac and cheese was maybe a little bit _too_ fancy for Pinkie's tastes. But that's okay, because there wasn't even that much on the plate. It was only about two pounds! That's hardly even a snack for us.

Dashie had skipped straight to dessert and ordered pie. That's our Dashie! And Rarity just had, like, this tiny bread ball drowned in almond juice and topped with vegetables, and that didn't look especially appetizing to Pinkie. Rarity seemed to like it, though! She always ate in this delicate and poised way, Pinkie thought it was pretty funny.

"Alright, Rarity," Pinkie detected Dashie's voice whilst in the midst of slamming her second root beer float. "No more messing around. You said you wanted to talk, so what the hay did you want to talk about?!"

Pinkie smacked her lips, then turned towards Rarity. She looked like there were some serious gears grinding up there in her head. Maybe she _wasn't_ going to tell Rainbow Dash about her suspicions of Pinkie?

Rarity placed her fork neatly beside her plate, and then, after clearing her throat, she spoke. "You see, Rainbow Dash, it's recently come to my attention that there may have been some..."

 _Rarity._

"... _affections_ circulating around our group of friends, as of late."

 _Why, Rarity._

Rainbow Dash put on a thinking face while she tried to figure out what Rarity is implying. She eventually came to a conclusion, but judging by her less-than-surprised expression, Pinkie presumed it wasn't the right one. "You mean Twilight crushing on that egghead girl from the human world?" the pegasus questioned. "Rarity, I think we all know about that. Well, maybe not Fluttershy, but she doesn't really care about that stuff."

Rarity scowled. "No, Rainbow Dash, that's not what I'm talking about."

 _Please, no._

The unicorn's expression softened. "Rainbow, darling, what I've been observing is a bit more... so to say, _'personal'_ to you and Miss Pie here."

 _Please, no._

Rainbow Dash cocked an eyebrow. "Rarity, what in Equestria are you talking about?"

 _Do not._

"Well, I wanted to create, a nice, safe environment here," Rarity explained, "so that the three of us could have a little discussion about our feelings." She paused, a kind and patient smile on her face. "Or, more accurately, so that the two of _you_ could have a little discussion about _your_ feelings." Rainbow Dash looked confused. Pinkie felt fire burning in her chest as Rarity turned to her. "Pinkie Pie, is there anything that you would like to tell Rainbow Dash?"

Pinkie's ears flattened. _She felt Rainbow Dash's gaze burning into the side of her head._ But she put on her best grin. She wasn't going to let Rarity win.

"He he! You're so silly, Rarity!" Pinkie squeaked. "I don't have anything I want to tell Dashie, because she's my bestest best best _friend!_ I'd _never_ keep any secrets from her!"

"Rarity, what's going on?" Pinkie heard Dashie's voice, and it sounded worried.

Pinkie looked to Rarity, who gazed back at her. Please, Rarity. The happy pink earth pony poured all of the pleading into her eyes that she possibly could. Pinkie didn't want this. She didn't want to see Dashie confused or upset, and she knew that what Rarity was doing was just making Pinkie's bestest best best friend worry. It wouldn't do any good for Rarity to get what she wanted right now. It would only cause problems. Pinkie knew this for a definitive fact.

And Rarity seemed to understand this.

"Perhaps I was wrong," Rarity said. "I thought there was something that Pinkie wanted to tell you, Rainbow Dash. I was worried that it needed the proper setting to be said... but it seems that Pinkie doesn't have anything to say after all." Pinkie smiled weakly, and Rarity nodded in response. Then the unicorn turned back to Rainbow Dash. "I sincerely apologize for wasting your time like this."

"Aw, that's okay, Rarity!" Pinkie sang, grinning just as brightly as she usually did. "Everypony makes mistakes! Besides, we got to have food!"

Unfortunately for Pinkie, Rainbow didn't look like she was quite finished with this conversation. She scratched her chin, then rested her gaze on the table for a moment... and then her eyes widened in sudden understanding. _She looked up at Pinkie._ And then she turned to Rarity. "Wait, wait." The pegasus shook her head briskly. "Were you trying to say... that _Pinkie Pie..."_

 _Why._

"...has a _crush on me?!"_

Pinkie_ has stopped working.

Rarity clenched her teeth, her eyes looking from Pinkie to Rainbow Dash and back again. "Um...? Well, I suppose that _was_ the assumption I made...?"

Rainbow Dash's brow furrowed. Pinkie Pie was frozen.

No, Dashie! Please don't be mad! It isn't true, we swear!

And then, Rainbow Dash started... laughing? Oh.

Oh.

Oh!

"Ha! Rarity, that's one imagination you have!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "Pinkie Pie doesn't have a _crush_ on me! That would be ridiculous!"

She was laughing hard. She... really didn't believe Rarity! And she thought it was funny! She wasn't upset at all!

What a relief! Pinkie was so relieved that she joined Dashie's laughing. _There wasn't anything to worry about after all!_

"Jeez, Rarity!" Rainbow spoke between chuckles, "Where did you even get a crazy idea like that?!"

Rarity rolled her eyes, returning to the food in front of her. "Oh, you know. I just get the _strangest_ things in my head sometimes."

Even if things were okay for now, Pinkie could see Rarity examining her. She still wasn't completely certain that her assumption was wrong, was she? Looked like things really weren't over...

But that was okay! Because at least for now, _things were okay!_ And that was what was important to Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash was happy, and there was nothing that made Pinkie happier than Rainbow Dash being happy.

Hold on, was that music Pinkie heard? No, not the cello, something different. Something... familiar. Very familiar! A _certain special song_ that was played on a _very special day_ in any pony's life... it was a _birthday party!_ Just across the room!

And do you know what happens when Pinkie finds a party?

She pulls out the party cannon.

And Rarity has to add a rather hefty tip to our already hefty bill.

* * *

|| Okay the ending to this chapter is really rushed and bad looking back on it but I'm sure it's fine.

This chapter is a lot better on FiMFiction, primarily because FiM allows you to use colored text for emphasis. And I practically _abused_ that capability on the original upload of this. Here, they're in italics instead, and that just doesn't stick out as much. ||


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